Tag Archives: UCR

The HUB’s 3rd Floor Restroom

Whether your irritable bowel syndrome is acting up or that burrito from Habanero is bad as it looks, we all have a little piece of heaven waiting on the 3rd floor of the HUB.  Make no mistake, this is the Rolls-Royce of on-campus bathrooms.  Compared to the rest of campus, just walking up to the door of this bathroom is like a different world.  Filled with plush seats and places to lounge around, the area outside of the bathroom already feels downright fancy compared to the rest of the campus, like some world Rick Ross dreamt up.  The bathroom itself is well lit, well stocked, and always smelling of fresh urinal cakes and hand soap.  I take pleasure in the little things.

Let me be frank; if i ever have a sudden intestinal emergency this is my go to bathroom.  There is no shame in that statement.

The Layout

On the first impression, this bathroom sets itself apart from the pack.  First of all, the lights work, and as far as I can tell they’re new.  There are more than enough sinks, and unlike the rest of campus, the spacing of everything is pretty intelligent.  No awkward rubbing shoulders and other crap in this bathroom.  An added plus, there are no creepy corners or places for bathroom predators to attack you here.

 Pro photography skills, you can’t see me in the mirror.

The bathroom proper is HUGE.  Again, intelligent spacing, and more than adequate facilities.  With the kind of leg room you’ve got outside and in the stalls, if this place was an airplane, then everyone is riding first class.

There’s only one complaint that I could muster about this bathroom: What the hell is going on with the tile choice?  Seriously if you showed me that pattern, I’d think you were trying to decide on some decoration for a convalescent home or…some pseudo-tetris/snake game that you could play with your fellow bathroom-mates.  It’s just proof that even paradise has its flaws.

4/5

Cleanliness

For all you Occupy UCRers, if you’re wondering what useful things your tuition dollars are going to, the cleanliness of this bathroom is at the top of the list.  Spotless, the janitorial crew is definitely earning their money on this one.  For narcissists like me, being able to see your reflection in the chrome of the urinal is a very nice feature of any bathroom, and believe me, this shit is photo-realistic.  It seems like this bathroom is the last place on campus where some form of moral law has survived, the bathroom is clean, so no one cares to take the time out of their day to screw this nice little equilibrium up.  No skid marks on the toilets, no evidence of golden showers all over the floor, and no seas of yellow with massive paper leviathins and crap monstrosities clogging the toilets.  If a higher power exists, please let this bathroom stay this way.

5/5

Amenities

This bathroom comes with four beautiful, well-equipped sinks featuring the newest in soap dispensing technology and towel dispensers that operate on pure magic, or maybe a hand sensor.  The towels never run out, the water stays warm, and the soap is  nice and foamy, abolishing any fears of someone finding a way to spit into it.  In front of the sinks is a huge mirror, perfect for all the look-at-yourself activities that your day requires.

I didn’t bother to count the amount of urinals and toilets, there’s too many.  Estimated caloric burn walking from toilet 1 to toilet n = 1000 calories.  And to make the journey to the end of the bathroom all the better, there is the freaking presidential suite stall.  I think it’s actually reserved for handicapped people, but in those moments of moral ambiguity that we experience after that grueling midterm (or that Habanero burrito), taking that stall is all right.

So what, you ask, could possibly top this off?  How about one of those baby-changing tables with the hilariously cute koala wearing the diaper on it?!  Yep.  Got it.  Right in front of the presidential suite stall.  You’re welcome, America.

5/5

Privacy

I won’t even need to waste time on this section.  You could assume a proper sumo stance at the urinals if you wanted to and your fear of having someone walk in at that exact moment would be practically zero.  This bathroom is, for whatever reason, still a generally unknown gem.  There may be a total of 50 people that come through here in a day.  Everyone respects each other’s privacy, so let’s just keep it that way.

5/5

Conclusion

I can’t promise that your next test will go well, that you will find your dream job, or find a girl at the next party, but I can make you one promise: Should that dreary day come that your stomach is bubbling, gas flying out of your anus like its Chevron, sweat dribbling down your face as you become doubtful that you’ll make it to the bathroom, just take solace in the fact that you don’t have to decide on a bathroom.

The Verdict:

5/5

If you need a bathroom

Urine Luck.

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Restroom Review: Pierce 1st Floor (Women’s)

Now I usually wouldn’t base my opinion on merely one visit to a restroom, but I have to say, that one experience has scarred me into not wanting to come back…

Background (story):

I got out of my last class at 6:30pm, and I was heading over to the Coffee Bean to meet up with a study group when I felt the urge on the way to class. I was passing by Pierce so I figured I’d just stop by the bathroom. Mind you, I’m quite familiar with the Pierce first floor women’s bathroom; my friends and I like to sit out on the tables right outside the building. So I rushed in, closed the door behind me on the only stall in the bathroom and for a lack of better words, started to mind my own business. But that’s when it happened…

My business was rudely interrupted when the lights went out. I don’t know how it happened, whether it was a janitor turning off the lights, or some jerk who wanted to play a prank, but I know for a fact that it was not a power outage (noticed that the hall lights outside of the bathroom were still on right after I zipped up and bolted). That bathroom was DARK. It already sucks when something like that happens to you in your own home, but in a public restroom when you’re by yourself?! Highly unnerving… And if you’ve ever been in the Pierce bathroom, it’s hard not to let your imagination run wild…

The Layout: There is one large stall that is handicap friendly and one sink, which may be slightly inconvenient if you do happen upon a person in the bathroom. Space could be somewhat limited, especially if there is more than one person in the room waiting for that one stall. But what really gives this bathroom it’s spooky character is the decor… There are two rose paintings hung up on the wall which, when hung up at the time, were meant to give this bathroom a more feminine charm. However, my first thought was from this…

Pretty pictures....

to this…

OH GAWD!!!

There are also two tall windows that look out to somewhere outside the building, but you can tell that the foliage on the outside of the building is unkempt since it snakes its way up and over the windows so you can’t actually see out.

It's not even raining...

Score 3/5

Cleanliness: Since there is only one stall, most of the time the ladies like to keep this restroom clean, in case they happen to run into the next person using it on the way out. The toilet is a manual flush, but as someone who flushes with their foot, I’m not particularly phased. I’ve never seen the toilet leak, and there trash bin is always emptied so there aren’t paper towels overflowing all over the place, so despite the old appearance this restroom is pretty clean.

Insert Grudge Girl.... here^

Score 5/5

Amenities: Fortunately the amenities in this restroom are not as old as the building! The paper towel dispenser is “no-handed” where you can use your forearm or elbow to dispense the paper towel as opposed to pulling a lever with your wet hands. Not only that, but there is not one, but two paper towel dispensers! Since there is low traffic in this restroom, there’s no real danger of running out of toilet paper, and the toilet seat covers are always available.

Unfortunately, there is no coat hook where you can hang your bag/sweater off the door, so you’d have to leave your belongings in the corner while you conduct your business. Lastly, from a women’s perspective, if you do find yourself waiting for the stall, there is a large waist high mirror where you can proceed to check yourself out, and do a little touch-up on your make-up. Although as someone who has gotten a bad case of the “heeby-jeebies” in this particular bathroom, the mirror only accentuates your feelings of paranoia, particularly when you keep thinking that that shadow in the mirror wasn’t your own…
Score 4.5/5

Privacy: The majority of the school population (aside from chem majors) don’t even really know that this bathroom exists, and given that it’s a “one staller”, there really is not a lot of people that go in and out of this washroom.

However, there’s always that moment of silence where you’re waiting for the first person to finish but you can hear everything from the toilet paper being unrolled to the toilet being flushed, and the awkward confrontation you have with the person coming out of the stall with the knowledge that “that person” has just used the toilet before you. It also goes both ways where if you’re the one that’s actually in the stall, you hope and pray that you don’t accidentally fart.
Score 3/5

Closing Statements: Before my traumatizing experience, I had been a regular visitor of this seemingly harmless bathroom. It was almost pleasant.

Maybe it's a nice ghost...

But I recommend not using this restroom in the evenings. To this day, I don’t know how the lights went out… maybe it was just me over thinking the few possible things that might have occurred. Or, perhaps, it was the spirit of a begrudged student that haunts this single stalled restroom… I’ll leave that for you to decide.

The Verdict:

4/5 Toilets – Scared Shitless…


Restroom Review: Hinderaker Hall 1st Floor

Background Info:

Hinderaker, home to the office of the Chancellor/Undercover Boss, and the rest of the UCR staff that runs our beautiful UCR campus. With this building holding such high prestige of our university, I expected the best of the best restroom experiences on campus. I settled with the first restroom I came across, which looked to be a unisex bathroom meant for Handicap people. Just like how everyone else does, I disregarded the Handicap sign and decided to give this restroom a go! Did Hinderaker deliver?

Handicap huh…

The Layout: When you open the door and come in, you are greeted with ONE SINGLE SPACIOUS room, and one single toilet. *Rubs eyes* It’s….beautiful… Score: 5/5

Cleanliness: Since Hinderaker is specifically for UCR staff, students aren’t often found in this building. Because of this, these restrooms are used in a lesser rate compared to others. This results in clean restrooms, and as evident in the picture below, there is no urine or paper towels on the floor and the toilet is still white. My god… Score: 5/5

*tear* beautiful...

Amenities: Look at the picture above, there is a freakin’ extra roll of toilet paper hanging on the railing, JUST IN CASE. Now consult the picture below, there is a CHAIR! I can’t even imagine the things you can do with this extra chair in here, but I actually took some time to think of some:

  • Put your backpack on while you poop
  • Allow your friend to have a seat
  • Put your legs up while you sit on the toilet

Amazing. Score: 5/5

an extra chair. AN EXTRA CHAIR!

an extra chair. AN EXTRA CHAIR!

Privacy: It’s a single room restroom; no one will smell, hear, or touch whatever you’re doing in there. This IS privacy. Score: 5/5

Closing Statements: Hinderaker definitely delivered. This restroom will serve as THE benchmark  for all restrooms on campus in all of our review criteria. If you are ever in the area (Interdisciplinary, Humanities) please do yourself a favor and experience this restroom for yourself. If you are able to hold it, do yourself a favor and walk over to this wonderful establishment. Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to say hi to the Chancellor along the way! He really is a great man.

THE VERDICT:

5/5 Toilets – POOPTASTIC!


The next time you go and blow your hands dry…


Hello Highlanders!

Nervous about doing the number 2 in a public restroom? Hate the stinkin’ bathrooms in Sproul? Want to know which restrooms on campus give the best privacy? RateMyUCRestroom looks to answers all of these questions in an honest and humble restroom guide to UCR, plus a whole lot more!

 

*RateMyUCRestrooms is maintained and ran by UCR marketing students under Professor Tom Novak’s BUS 118 course.