Monthly Archives: February 2012

Where Are the X-Men?!

Once upon a time...Professor Xavier pooped here...

At one point in time, the first floor Sproul restroom, as disgusting as it is, was home to none other than the X-Men restroom. This picture shown above is that restroom, except there, of course, was an “X -” in front of the men…

It looked a lot like this picture I found on Google actually.

Where have the mutants gone? Were they shunned from the UCR campus as how they are shunned from society? I strongly believe UCR, being a university that prides itself on it’s acceptance of a wide range of ethnicities, should come to accept mutants as well. Its injustices like this that push Magneto to destroy the Golden Gate Bridge and stuff like in that second movie.

Please UCR, I strongly advise, LET THE X-MEN POOP IN OUR RESTROOMS! BRING THE X-MEN RESTROOM BACK!
That is all.

"Wait! No! DON'T TAKE IT AWAY! My legs man. Bro..."

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Restroom Review: Science Library restroom

Studying in the Science Library/ Orbach Library and need to your business in a quiet and clean place? Head to down to the basement and you’ll probably find the cleanest bathroom on campus! The layout of the restroom is exactly the same as the bathrooms on the other three floors – 6 stalls and 4 sinks.

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You will not find toilet seats splattered with pee all over it, unflushed toilets, and trashed floors here!

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All you will find is a quiet environment where you are able to do your business with no pressure! The amenities here are always stocked, so you’ll never have to walk away with stanky hands… or other body parts.

This is definitely one of the best places to do your thing, especially during finals week, when students turn the restrooms into a frat house!

Verdict: 5/5 – Jeremy Lin Approved


Effective Butt – Toilet Management

A philosophical debate has raged for centuries: What is the best way to cover the seat while you’re using it?

If you ask me, the “provided by management” toilet seat covers (aka ass gaskets) are too flimsy and ineffective.  They take longer to properly lay out than a jigsaw puzzle, normally leading to leakage.  I prefer to just grab two pieces of toilet paper, double layering it of course, and just lay them across the two sides of the toilet.  Then there are those who are true daredevils, preferring to use even the worst of toilets bare-skinned.  I don’t know what drives people to do this, but (or should I say butt ;D) who am I to pass judgment.  This is an argument that we, as a unified race, should decide.  So, what’s your choice?

 


Restroom Review: Sproul 1102 UNISEXUAL!

These are the individual bathrooms at the entrance of the Sproul 1102 lecture hall. There are not many places on campus that you can truly be alone…Privacy: No other bathroom with offer you privacy like this one, which is great! I am tired of some creepy dude always looking over at my junk at the urinal! The privacy of this bathroom though, is its greatest downfall. You can be assured that almost every person passing through here has been dropping a load and did not want anyone to hear. I know for a fact that this is where my friend goes when he is feeling sick.

Now remember for a second that we are in a high hormone environment called college, sometimes we can’t wait to get home with that special someone. I know from personal experience, that it is possible to sneak 2 in for a little fun lock the door and get away with it, and I bet other have too. So keep that in mind when you sit down, might wanna take extra care if you don’t wanna catch some sexually transmitted disease.

5/5 for intimate privacy!

Cleanliness: It is not the cleanest thing in the world, this is how messy it was at 8am on a Monday. And the entire bathroom smelled a little funny, maybe dead bugs. If you wish to locate all the dead bugs, just look up to the light fixture that may fall on your head at any moment. Not super sexy…

3/5 for cleanliness

Conclusion: Despite this being on the dirtier side, and it is one of the  older bathrooms on campus, this is one of my favorites. I have privacy and many great memories in here. Sproul 1102, you have been there for me and others in a time of need.

Verdict

4/5 Holy shits!


Restroom Review:Psychology Building (1st Floor Women’s)

Background Info:

Personally, I am really picky about restrooms. In other words, I am kinda like a “mysophobia” person. I always try to avoid using public restrooms because I feel very uncomfortable sitting on toilets that people have sat on it for so many times. Therefore, if it’s necessary, I need to go to the restrooms that are super clean or else I would just hold my pee until I get home. I know this is weird, but that’s how picky I am about restrooms (LOL).

So, I would say looking for clean restrooms is one of the weirdest things I usually do while I am at school. One of the restrooms that I found that’s pretty clean is located at the first floor of Psychology Building. Since I have classes in Olmsted Hall, I go to this restroom quite often. Indeed, I have pretty good experiences there and I consider this restroom as one of the cleanest restrooms on campus.

Layout: 

When you walk in, you can see there are six stalls on the left hand side, mirrors and sinks on the right hand side,  and a black trash can next to the door. The restroom overall  is nice, and it has simple design. Score 5/5 

Cleanliness:

This is pretty much one of the cleanest restrooms you can find on campus. You won’t see  toilet paper all over the floor like another restrooms on campus, and it does not smell bad! The sinks are pretty clean also, and you won’t see hair and mold sticking on them. Score 5/5

Amenities:

The toilets are very clean and they are all in manual flush. The best thing is that there is no yellow stain or leak on every one of them. Therefore, you can actually feel comfortable when you sit on it, especially when you need to go “NO. 2” (In this case, you don’t need to lift up your butt, LOL)

Seat covers were all filled in every stall, and there is a little trash can next to the toilets for our (women) convenience.

Two big rolls of toilet paper were  loaded properly in every stall, GREAT!

There are two sinks, two manual soap dispensers, two manual paper towel dispensers, and one big  mirror. I would say they are all nice and clean. However, the only compliant that I have is that two sinks are actually not enough while  there are six stalls. This is because sometimes people actually need to “line up” to wash their hands. This might not happen to guys, but  I see girls usually take SUPER LONG in front of the mirror, putting make ups, doing their hair, looking at their face, blah blah blah…. In this case, you  always have to wait til people to finish in order to wash your hands.  Well, I am not a girl who would spend so much time doing all those things in front of the mirror. So, it’s pretty annoying, especially during time when you are rushing to your next class. Score 4/5

Privacy:

I usually don’t see a lot of people going into this restrooms whenever I walk in. So it’s a pretty quiet restroom. Since the layout of the restroom is great,  I always feel comfortable using this restroom. Score 5/5

Conclusion:

This is probably one of the newest and nicest restrooms you can find on campus. So for those of you who have “mysophobia”  like me, although you might need to walk a little further, I do recommend you guys to go to this bathroom! (LOL)

The Verdict:

5/5 Toilets:  Just Go! Don’t need to hold “IT”!


Rivera Library Men’s

Someone call Stephen King because this bathroom is just begging to be turned into some sort of horror story.  Before he goes and turns this setting into a literary gold mine, let me try my hand at it.  It was a dark and dreary afternoon.  I had just finished a midterm and came to the library to print out materials for my next class.  As I sat at the computer stall, beads of sweat began to creep down my forehead.  My stomach started to rumble as I felt a strange feeling in my buttocks area.  Slowly, almost rhythmically, gaseous fumes began to explode out of my rear, intoxicating the area around me.  I knew what was coming, and I had only a few seconds to get to a bathroom or all hell would break loose.  I stood up as calmly as possible and walked quickly to the bathroom, standing straight as possible believing that it would somehow help my bowels from exploding.  I forced open the door and suddenly the stench of urine invaded my nose.  Fighting past the disgust, I shamefully sat in the one, run down stall and answered nature’s call.

Alright, so it’s not the next Harry Potter or…Twilight, or something.  But, believe me when I say, this bathroom sucks.  Someone, somewhere, down the line has simply given up on this bathroom and it has fallen into an ill state of disrepair.  If you’re eating while reading this, I’d suggest you stop now, because it’s only going to get worse.

The Layout

The "trash can room"?

Well, when you walk in there’s this completely pointless room.  There’s a door, there’s a trash can, then there’s a door to the bathroom.  It’s a cramped little claustrophobic space that, I suppose, is there so that you can miss the trash can on your way out in complete privacy.  Yes, even with less than 3 feet separating you and the trash can, people still miss.  Linsane.

To the left, you can see the door leading to the “trash can room.”  This door closes slowly, then it stops right where you see it in the picture.  Creepy?  Yeah.  Then, on the right, we can see the best picture I could get to capture the entire bathroom.  This place is cramped.  Ergonomics was not the word of the day here.  As you can see, getting paper towels is a bit of a gamble because the guy in the stall might choose that exact moment to come out and let you smell the roses.  Awful.  Oh and there’s the tiny alley to the right that has the two urinals.  Needless to say, if both are taken up, things get a little too close for comfort.

1/5

Amenities

Well, I can’t say this bathroom doesn’t have what you need, but that’s about all I can say.  Sure there are sinks, but good luck on getting hot water.  There’s soap, maybe.  There are toilets, but they come with the piss already inside!  I just needed to really point out the urinals here.  I appreciate the screen, but really?  Sure it might help stick figures from seeing each other’s ding dongs but dear lord we’re living in the 3rd dimension here people.  The goal isn’t to block the TOILETS from seeing each other its the people that we’re worried about!  I can’t express the sorrow that I feel for the amount of people that have been visually raped peripherally in this bathroom.  And what the hell is that ominous black box in the corner?

An amenity that I’d wish to be added would be air freshener, and a strong one.  Like, I mean, old man cologne strong.  The doors do a good job of containing any smells within the bathroom, but once you walk in you experience this sensory overload of stale urine and shame.  Please UCR, answer this one prayer.

2/5

Privacy

Nah, not here.  There’s one stall, so you can almost count on having awkward eye contact with the next person waiting for it.  The urinals are way too close together, and as stated before, provide 20/20 vision of the dude next to you.  The only privacy you’ll be finding here is the trash can room.  Good luck, pal.

1/5

Cleanliness

If “overwhelmingly pissy smell” perfectly describes this bathroom, then I think all other descriptions fall into place.  There’s often paper strewn about here.  My pictures were on a good day, but I’ve seen the toilet with some nice presents inside.  Graffiti dots the walls, the bolts on everything are rusting.  There’s this awkward tan hue to the whole thing, I don’t know.  It sucks.  Bring hand sanitizer, and you might want to just go home and take a shower after being in this place.

1/5


So there you have it.  For anyone who crams for their midterms in this library, just know that there is no relief from the stress in this bathroom.  There are plenty of better options, like a port-a-potty, so do yourself a favor and just steer clear.

The Verdict

1/5

Pissed Off!


Restroom Review: Sproul Hall (First Floor Men’s)

Background Info:

To my knowledge, every campus in the UC system has something Sproul, whether it be a building or a street, in honor of the eleventh president of the University of California. At UC Riverside, we of course have Sproul Hall, home to the twisty staircase, random section of rocks, and discussion sections. Being a building built in the honor of the Sproul name, you would expect honorable things out of its restrooms. Did the Sproul Hall men’s restroom make like Mulan and bring honor to its family?

The Layout: Upon opening the door I was greeted with another door. Why in the world would they go out of their way to insert an extra barrier?

Proceed...if you dare!

Proceeding on because I dared, I entered the restroom, or should I say, GLORIFIED PORTA-POTTY. This restroom is tiny and cramped. For a restroom that is built to have at least 4-5 occupants, this is pretty terrible. Now I get it…that second door was supposed to discourage me from going any further! I’ll award a point for the warning. Score: 1/5

This...this is cozy...

Cleanliness: Because this restroom is so small and cramped, it is susceptible to stuffiness – a deadly thing when it comes to restrooms. The air is so dense there’s probably thick microbial pieces of poop flying around in the air (I’m not a science major so don’t hold me to this statement). I felt like breathing in here would cause a poop build-up in my lungs (again, I’m not a science major).

Heading into the stall to inspect the toilet, I witnessed the nastiest yellow stain, like so nasty my pee would be too clean to make contact with it. See for yourself in the picture below. I’d also like to make a point that these images were taken at around 8:00 AM, so this is what the toilet starts out as in the BEGINNING of the day!

Hahaha...oh wait that's real? ...ugh.

The stalls in this restroom always have great graffiti on the walls. Though its not clean to the walls, it sure is entertaining sometimes, so I count it as a positive! This graffiti pictured was pretty up-beat, but it didn’t do enough to brighten my experience in this restroom. Score: 1/5

Better than a poop on my step I guess

Amenities: Well after witnessing the pee coated toilet seat with stuff floating in the water, I didn’t want to inspect the amenities in the stall any further. But let’s just ASSUME its the standard 1-ply toilet paper rolls that require at least 50 sheets to be able to withstand a single wipe, and lets HOPE that it is refilled along with the toilet seat covers (but a whole new toilet seat would be better). Score: 1/5

Privacy: Let me take this time to discuss one of my biggest pet peeves – URINALS WITH NO SIDE WALLS. I am one of those people who have trouble turning on the hose when at the urinal because I’m self conscious just if there is a guy staring at me from behind. Having no privacy from the sides makes this even worse! I don’t want some creeper angling his eyes to the side and seeing my stuff! I’m pretty sure 9 out of 10 guys will see someone using one of these urinals, and opt to use the stall instead of use the urinal next to them, awkward penguin style. The urinals are literally like 4 inches apart; what were they trying to promote here, peeing competitions?! You might as well combine the two urinals to make one gigantic urinal tub if you are going to put them that close, perhaps that way you can squeeze in a third guy. Speaking of the urinals, also note that in the picture one of the urinals still has pee in it. Yikes… Score: BIG FAT 0/5

WHY YOU NO SEPARATE!?

Closing Statements: To the honorable Mr. Sproul, I’m sorry but this restroom has brought dishonor to your family, and probably lung problems too. You truly deserved better, and I hope one day you get that restroom you deserve, one with a practical urinal setup, and at least a canister of Fabreeze.

THE VERDICT:

1/5 Toilets – “Vomitrocious”